You and your partner are considering moving in together? You're certainly not the only ones. According to The Center for Disease Control & Prevention, more Americans than ever before are living together outside of marriage.
It may seem like an odd thing for the CDC to track, but that's besides the point. The point is that cohabitation has become increasingly popular in recent years, which begs the question: should you take the plunge yourself? Only you can answer that question, but it's worth thinking long and hard about whether or not Cohabiting is right for you and your relationship.
Before making the decision to move in with your significant other, be sure to arm yourself with all the pros and cons. In this post, we'll cover topics like:
- When is the best time to take this big step?
- How can you make moving day go as smoothly as possible?
- What are some signs that perhaps now isn't the ideal time for cohabitation?
5 Signs You're Moving In Together Too Quickly
Let us begin by assisting you in determining whether you and your partner are making the correct choice for your relationship. Let's look at a few signals that might suggest that you and your partner are thinking about moving in together too soon.
1. You're frequently in fights that you can't seem to resolve.
Though arguments are not bad, if you never argue in your relationship, it may suggest that you and your partner lack communication. There is a difference between fighting constructively or destructively. After an argument, can you reflect on what occurred to learn more about yourself and listen to your partner's perspective? If so, this demonstrates effective arguing. On the other hand, brushing off the issue without resolving it allows bitterness to grow.
If you and your partner find that you're constantly arguing without resolving the issue, it may be best to work on building a healthier relationship before moving in together. Arguments tend to when people start sharing a bathroom...a kitchen...and a living room. Occasional arguments are normal, but frequent or hostile arguments could foreshadow future problems.
2. The majority of your relationship has been spent living in different places.
If you and your spouse haven't spent a lot of time together, start by gradually moving in together. While this may appear to be a simple point, it is not. Many couples have been married for a long time but only meet each other once or twice a year because they live far apart.
While it's wonderful when these connections work out (and can represent a strong connection between a couple) moving in together might be more difficult for long-distance couples. Going from 100 percent of your time away to 100 percent of your time together may be an adjustment for both people. That's why, in situations like this, we advocate taking it slow and gradually transitioning from living apart to living together. We recommend starting off by housing in the same city before progressing to cohabitation.
3. Your family, friends, or even apartment complex is pressuring you to move in with your partner.
If one or both people in a relationship feels compelled, take a step back before making a major life choice like moving in together. Peer pressure is extremely real, particularly as individuals get older. When your friends get married and settle down, it can put you under tremendous pressure to do the same.
People can inadvertently find themselves in lengthy, serious relationships with the wrong person because they think it's what they're supposed to do instead of what they actually want. Before moving in with someone, you and your partner should be absolutely certain that it is something you both WANT to do 100%.
4. You believe that living together will help your relationship survive.
You might think that moving in together would help mend relationship tension, but you should explore other options first. A relationship therapist is more affordable and effective than expected. Many people believe that living together will improve their partnership, but nine times out of ten it doesn't make a difference—and often makes issues worse.
Before you move in together, ensure that your relationship is the strongest it has ever been. Imagine it as a foundation. Just as you would never try to build a skyscraper on an unstable foundation, don't try to build a future with someone if your partnership isn't solid.
5. I have a bad feeling about this.
Did you know that your stomach contains 100 million neurons? Therefore, the age-old saying "trust your gut" has a lot of truth behind it. If something feels wrong or too soon, then it probably is. Many people have difficulty trusting their instincts, making life unnecessarily difficult. For example, if moving in together feels too soon, don't force it - there's no rush!
Are you still interested?
In this post, we'll be discussing how to make the process of moving in with your partner much more comfortable. By now, you should have determined whether living together is the right move for you and your relationship. If you're both ready to take this step, read on for some great advice.
Are You and Your Partner Ready to Move In Together? 6 Questions to Ask First
Before you move in with your partner, there are six critical topics below that you need to be comfortable discussing together. Many couples get so wrapped up in the excitement of finally living together that they forget to have these conversations.
1. What will we need to pay for rent, utilities, food, and other costs?
Divvying up expenses is a serious issue to discuss with your partner before you move in together. You should agree on who will be paying for what and how all you will split the costs before signing an apartment lease. For example, let’s say one person requires more groceries or takes longer showers, should they pay more? You need to figure out how get through surprise expenditures too… what happens if someone’s car needs repair work done? Though these might seem like minor things, they can have a major impact on the relationship after moving in together.
2. When you're expecting a baby, your leashes become so tangled that it's time to take things up another level.
Although it's not the most thrilling thing to discuss, this topic is essential before taking the next step in your relationship. Unfortunately, many couples end up going their separate ways. If you realize after moving in together that it was a mistake, what will be your Plan B? Someone has to leave and someone gets the pet (or cat, hamster, fish).
3. How do you plan on keeping the flame alive in your relationship after moving in together?
The newness of a relationship keeps the spark lit without any conscious effort, but as time goes on and you move in together, that flame starts to dwindle. It's natural, but rekindling it will take some extra work. Choose one night a week as a date night. Make day trips fun. Or, to make dinner together twice a week, sign up for a mean subscription. It's important to bring this up because it's easy to fall into the habit of lounging on the couch while you both watch Netflix.
4. What kind of rules and privacy policies will you establish?
One of the most challenging aspects of moving in together with your partner is transitioning from lots of solitude to next-to-no solitude at all. This is why establishing parameters between you and your spouse is so crucial. These limits will vary depending on the relationship, but it's important to have them in any case.
5. How will you split up the workload?
You've discovered that there's a lot to take care of in regards to responsibilities when it comes to your home or apartment. Laundry, dishwashing, drying dishes, washing up, bathroom cleaning and making the bed are all things that must be done on a daily basis. Vacuuming the flooring and removing waste products are also part of the standard cleaning regimen for many people. Before you move in with your partner, you should discuss how chores will be divided.
6. What strategies do you have in place for working your way through issues as they arise in your relationship?
While this may appear strange, consider it for a moment. You and your spouse had a distinct method of resolving issues before you moved in together. Perhaps you went to see one another or spoke on the phone. Maybe you didn't talk for a few days. When you live with someone, it is It's also critical to understand how you'll deal with conflicts in your relationship. After all, ignoring your significant other is not an option (you live together).
Though it may be daunting, moving in together is a big step forward for couples. And while any large change should meets some degree of trepidation, that doesn't mean it's always a bad move. Living with someone you love can be an amazing journey, as long as you are confident in your relationship and your partner. Be sure to talk first and lay down a few ground rules. Being logical and organized will go a long way.
Should you and your spouse choose this option, here is a brief tutorial on how to obtain moving company quotations.